11 September 2016

One thing many of us struggle with is that balance of feeling some form of freedom, and trying to balance it on the metaphorical scales, with self acceptance. That one goes in hand with the other. And up until recently, I didn't really think about it that much? I wasn't happy with how I felt or looked (at least the mindset of that was there), but just thought right away 'I need to physically change', and actually go out, start doing stuff and change that way? Which I've half-heartedly done by signing up for the gym again - but only going once in the past couple of weeks, as well as cutting out a fair amount of crap from my diet and drinking all the water. But I have come to the realisation that whilst that kind of change is good, it's not necessarily the case to put forward in making you happy with, well, yourself. You can make little changes by starting in your old noodle first of all, and things like your attitude and mindset. Okay, that sounds like it's something you can do real easy, doesn't it? But it's not. 

The world around us has ingrained so many things into our minds without realising that it's hard to pull yourself out of them? That we are constantly scrutinizing our own thoughts that deviate from whatever the so called 'norm' is, when that norm isn't the general consensus at all. Sure we can all relate to parts of society. But it sucks where in this ever changing world, whilst people come together, it also feels as though it's becoming more isolated. Especially when you look at life online, and in 'reality' I suppose, although online isn't exactly some fantasy world. The world around us is made up of a variety of opinions, thoughts and ideas about ourselves, and the world around us. And it can get us down.

But as of late I feel there's been a bit of a turning point in my life, and I suppose, my mental health? Which I'm grateful for as for quite some time, it's been like a heavy bag I've been dragging over an uneven dirt track for god know's how many years. This time last year was around the time the bag broke. The blog has been a lot more quiet this year I feel, mainly due to wanting to just focus on myself and take the time to learn who I really am? The past few months, I've decided to really follow my heart, and not return to university. That lifted a weight off my shoulders. Even though I knew returning to uni wasn't for me, I didn't really think too much about it? I just decided it wasn't for me, gave it some real thought for a couple of days and let all the people I needed to know that it wasn't happening. Sure, the ideas I've got may take some time to develop, but so be it. That's not the only thing though. Other areas of my life have changed, to me it's pretty dramatic, to everyone else it may not mean much, but it's allowed me to become happier in myself and my identity to an extent, and I'm thankful for that. I feel like it's been a long time coming and whilst everyday won't be sunshine and rainbows - is it ever, for anyone? 

What I'm trying to say is that although freedom and self acceptance are two different things, they do interlink and don't believe that you have to satisfy other people and their opinions of you, in order to discover who you really are. Be selfish and look after yourself. Do what you want because you enjoy it or want alone time. Go for those walks that have no particular meaning behind them apart from stretching your legs a little and watching the sunset. Take those pictures of you in a face mask (really though, it's actually a lot of fun and I recommend it). Talking of pictures, post all the ones you want. If you are having a good day, let everyone know! Celebrate yourself, because as corny as it sounds, there is only one of you.

Post a Comment

Copyright © ELMPETRA
Design by Fearne