Recently, I said I was returning to university in September. Now...it's not happening. Quickly changed my mind, right? Well, yes and no. To be truthful, it's been on my mind for quite a while. I suppose the other post was me trying to realise that being clueless about stuff isn't bad. When I really got thinking about it (aka the only thing I seem to be good at) there was the realisation that whilst I would have a BA once I graduated, I wouldn't actually be happy. I'd have a piece of paper that cost me a stupid amount of money that I'll never pay back entirely because it's likely I'll never have the crazy amount of funds to do so. And that genuinely made me feel quite sad. Although some people can deal with that kind of pressure fine, I'm one of those that can't. Well, not in education anyway. The entire course would consist of me stressing out, and then thinking I'm not understanding it properly (seriously, I spend so much time reading stuff trying to understand it correctly because my Dyslexia somehow makes me misread things constantly, it annoys me, and I know in turn that annoys lecturers!)

I've come to the realisation that I need to care about myself and my happiness instead of doing something 'just because'. And that's why I'm backing out of this final year of uni. Many people said that I could always do it and quit if it wasn't what I wanted. But I've always stood by the belief that you need to go with your gut (and heart or whatever you trust in the body department) and be happy. So what if people judge you? That's all they ever seem to do. I want to live my life in a way that I'm happy with, and push myself to the limit I know I can reach, without the stress of writing a dissertation and god knows what else. And for me? That's doing my photography.

We need to stop living life in a way that is trying to impress other people. The person we need to be impressing is ourselves. (I need to stick that on a greetings card, don't you think?) It's true though. We're number one. We're the top dog in our lives and I think that people don't realise this. Live life for yourself...y'know?

Are there any instances where you've listened to your gut, and it turned out to be the best decision?



I love a good image, don't you? I love attempting to create ones in strange ways, and that I enjoy making myself. Personally, I don't think you don't need a camera that costs hundreds of thousands to create a beautiful image. Sure, having a wide range of shutter speeds, and a bunch more megapixels is nice but for me the appeal of a beautiful image is what is within the shot...the focus, the positioning of the subject (whether that be a person or object) that is what will make an image stand out to me. An interesting image to me is one that doesn't look like a carbon copy of so many others out there. 

A couple days ago I popped into a local camera shop, and surprised myself by coming out with a camera I had in fact been briefly looking at online (which was double the price online, with exactly the same setup!) Usually when forking out on something, I'll try and justify that there will be enough use of said item to make the purchase worth it...which is wise, right? With this I kinda just went with my gut feeling, and the fact I've been wanting to shoot on film for a while. So now I'm the proud owner of a Pentax ME Super! And it came with a 50mm lens, which is basically my favourite. Also, the camera is older than me (was released in the 70s/80s). I love the style of it, as it's the genuine article and looks like the inspiration behind the Olympus PEN and some of the other cameras going for that 'old' look on the body.

Back to creating pictures in strange ways...the picture I have included in this post? I put my iPhone up to the viewfinder of the camera in a very challenging and painful way, focused the lens and experimented with it! See what I mean? We know that iPhones don't have the best cameras, but I think this made for an interesting image! Today I went out to have a play with the camera, get to grips with it, and hopefully get some good shots (and also play Pokemon GO because c'mon guys, I am still addicted to it) and you know what? I think this is going to become my little baby. I've said to myself time and time again that I'll shoot more film and this time...I need to stay true to my word. I just love the thought that goes into trying to get the focus just right, and not having any idea of what the image looks like until the film has been developed. It's like Christmas coming early, right? No doubt once I get the film developed, there will be a post on it!

This post doesn't exactly seem to have a point, and I don't even know what I'm saying (forever tired and not making any sense, yo). But basically, I am glad this camera has reignited my love for film, and am hoping I can get going on portraits. (Basically, hit me up if you are in South East England/London, because I want to photograph and collaborate with people and get those creative juices flowing).

Do any of you shoot on film?



As kids, we have these dreams of what careers we want when we're older, right? For me, I wanted to be an archeologist. No idea where it flourished from, I just thought it would be cool to find dinosaurs, and things from the past, and for future generations to know what the earth was like many moons ago. Damn, that's deep thinking for a kid...anyway, you can probably tell that it never panned out. Mainly because when I was in secondary school, I realised just how much I sucked at history - my memory was/is terrible and I can't remember dates in history to save my life.

Also, there is this clear moment in my life at secondary school, where we had to create a trench?? Like, craft one ourselves, and take into our history lesson. Anyway, I went out, spent a fair bit on chicken wire (why is that making me laugh so much? The thought of spending loads of money on chicken wire?) and lord knows what else...basically I was really proud with what I had created, and when we had to show them? My teacher basically laughed at mine, and that marked the end of my archeology dreams. Looking back, it was a terrible thing I created...it looked like a half-hearted skate park. But at the time, it was upsetting, you know?

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